‘They fuck you up, your mum and dad,’ so said the nation’s best-loved poet…
Good old Pip Larkin wasn’t wrong. While crack and skag are surely not too great for your constitution, your auld folks can really do your head in.
And so it’s proved this week as the parents of both Amy ‘Camden Caner’ Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil decided to do the dirty on their own kids by exposing the lurid fineries behind their kids addictions on national radio.
“They are drug addicts, and they don’t believe they are,” bleated step-father Giles Civil (fnar, fnar!), a headmaster from Nottinghamshire, on Radio Five Live, before adding, ‘I think they believe they are recreational users of drugs, and they are in control, but it seems to Georgette (his missus, and Blake’s mum) and I that this isn’t the case.”
Cheers Pop, came the cry from Blake, sunning himself in St Lucia as Amy offered a romantic fist to the chops…
“I think they both need to get medical help, before one of them, if not both of them, eventually will die,” added Georgette.
More out pourings of desperation were aired before the genius solution was offered by daddy Civil: ‘Perhaps it is time to stop buying her records.’
Superb stuff. If your children are in crisis, and in need of support, the obvious solution – kick em when they’re down and take away their lifeblood.
What’s next lop off Amy’s tongue, that’d learn ‘er.
There was still more pearlers from the Declinehouse direction, as pa Giles, not to be outdone by the in-laws, grabbed his moment in the spotlight, declaring: “Giles and Georgette were due to come to (a medical advice) meeting but they chose to go for a drink in the pub with Amy and Blake – we have two families pulling in different directions.”
Excellent. Not only are the kids a state, but the families are at war too. It’s like the Mitchells at Christmas but with lashings of ketamine.
You really have to wonder what the parents hope to achieve by adding to the furore.
And anways, aren’t the old farts (copyright Will Carling) wrecking a truly great rock n roll story – here we have for the first time in ages a great looking couple battering seven bells out of each other, guzzelling high quantities of Class As and all the while the pop star in question has delivered a top notch record to boot.
Or is this simply cliche, old hat and downright irresponsible sensationalistic voyeurism?
Of course it is, that’s why its been on the front page of every paper for the last two weeks – that’s why the Daily Mail have assigned some right-wing bint to deconstruct the whole situation and deliver a verdict which roughly translates as: Ban Hoodies.
Anyway…
What I strongly believe is that the parents of all rock stars should butt out.
Why are the parents of Britney and Pete involving themselves in a war of words with the tabloids when trying to explain away why their daughter has become the Trailor Trash Queen of ‘How’s My Kebab Looking’ and King of Junk respectively.
Simply let them get on with it, if their music passes the test, then their legacy only grows stronger.
Just look at Keif, the Stones guitarist added to his own mythology this year doing what simply came natural – his dad died, so he snorted the ashes.