The Kings of misery wage a war on happiness with their new releases, but who reigns supreme? Getintothis pits An End Has A Start against Our Love To Admire.
1. Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors v Pioneer To The Falls
Editors open with lead off single, a rally against the current smoking ban, which has seen droves of unhappy Britons rushing out of hospital wards unable to enjoy a bloody cigarette. How unfair is that? It’s a corking stadium bopper and top marks for a Mike Mills-esque swirly organ. Marks deducted for joyous kids choir though. Pack that in, you’re meant to be bleak. The New Yorker’s take four minutes to get going before a maraca wakes me up. Why does the inlay card look like a taxidermist’s wet dream? Edith Bowman’s fella’s charges take a comfortable lead.
1-0.
2. An End Has A Start v No I In Threesome
Oooh, racy Edge-like guitars, seems Kings of Leon aren’t the only ones taking tips off U2. Editors have certainly ramped up the production, this is stadium rock with bells on. Shame the lyrics are so naff: ‘You came on your own, that’s how you’ll leave…’ Do behave Mr Smith.
Mmm, Paul Banks’ is blabbering on about ‘giving something new a try’ well it sounds like every Interpol track I’ve ever heard. But blander. Must try harder, this LP hasn’t begun yet.
Another easy win for Team Editors.
1-0.
3. The Weight of the World v The Scale
Big drums and sleigh bells introduce Editors three tracks in, but the pace has dropped considerably. Sluggish is an understatement. This is yawnsome, have I left the oven on?
Oh dear Lord, Interpol’s effort makes The Weight… appear exhilarating. This is awful. Oh, wait, there’s some backward guitar soloing it’s getting better. It ended. Pants.
Dreary pap from both camps – a draw.
0-0.
4. Bones v Heinrich Maneuver
Wait, isn’t this track two again? Editors show their limitations by repeating two tracks inside a couple of minutes. A bit like Bolton FC – solid but don’t expect anything fancy. Doesn’t bode well for the rest for the record.
Much better from the Nazi-garbed American’s; Carlos D’s bass is pushed up in the mix, and Danny Kessler’s guitar is a jittering out like Tracey from Big Brother. Zero marks for spelling but at just over three minutes it’s pure pop perfection. Winner!
0-1.
5. When Anger Shows v Mammoth
Promising start from Editors; moogs, scatter-shot drums and lilting piano. Agh, they’ve done it again – all Snow Patrol guitars and pompous epic choruses. I’m bored now. Hang on, three minutes in and we’ve driving guitars and a whiff of a disco beat building to a frenzied whiteout of noise. A minor recovery from the yawn of defeat.
There’s a few mammoths in the lavish Interpol inlay card, they join bison in the ice-age and hyena’s gorging on bloodied gazelle carcasses. What can it all mean? Who cares, this tune is doing my bloody head in. It’s urgent, pounding and headache-inducing. But that’s better than dull, so I’ll declare another draw.
0-0.
6. The Racing Rats v Pace Is The Trick
It’s the Coldplay one from Editors. Plodding piano, mid-paced intro and more U2 guitars with a whopping breakdown which will see Topshop-loving boys and girls across the land raise their arms in approval everywhere. It’s a tad like Embrace if they were on mogadon and could hold a note.
Banks is warbling about ‘corruption in his head’ – he wants to try getting inside my CD player – its screaming ‘PRESS STOP THIS IS REALLY BORING’.
1-0.
7. Push Your Head Towards The Air v All Fired Up
Time for a breather for Smith’s gang; acoustic guitars, brushed drums and luscious orchestration with the inevitable soaring finale. It’s probably sound good on a Volvo ad.
College rock and an aggro riff gives Interpol a huge advantage. It may sound like a bolshy Killers but it smacks the crap outta Editors’ bed-wetting.
0-1.
8. Escape the Nest v Rest My Chemistry
Euphoric stadium rock, perhaps the strongest thing on offer thus far from The Editors and Tom Smith’s vocals are for the first time breaking, breathless and desperate. I really dig this track.
Our Love… is really getting going now. The second half team-talk seems to have done the trick and this Pixies-ish bruiser is a brooding bruiser. A shame for both sides as they cancel each other with barnstorming 30-yarders.
0-0.
9. Spiders v Who Do You Think
Beginning a tad like Elbow; oompah drumming and backroom atmospherics before those trademark skeletal guitars kick in for the umpteenth time. This is Editors by numbers and it has filler written all over it.
Mildly chugging like a Merseyrail train, they could hardly top Editors’ dreariness, but they’ve tried their damndest. They edge a scabby victory.
0-1.
10. Well Worn Hand v Wrecking Ball.
Going out with a bang just isn’t Editors style. No lets all mope around and thank God for a wet July. Summer’s rubbish anyway. Tom tinkles on his Joanna and exclaims that he’d rather curl up in a ball than go out and face the night. The big girl’s blouse.
Penultimate track time for the New Yorker’s and they pull out this ghostly fractured spinechiller complete with haunting organs and tremoring guitars. Banks sounds like’s been sectioned in the outro. Good on him.
0-1.
11. nowt v The Lighthouse
Editors fail to offer up an 11th track so Interpol claim a walkover, but to be fair The Light House is so wimpy and ethereal, wallowing in it’s own dud tremolo nothingness that to award a victory would be unjust. If anyone played this track twice they’d be wasting five minutes and 24 seconds of their own futile existence.
0-0.
Final score:
3-4.
Interpol snatch victory with a second half rampage, as Editors cave in under the weight of their own despondency. But in truth it was a close run affair with neither side living up to expectation, as Interpol failed to live up to past glories and Editors under-achieved on the big second album. Must try harder next time misery guts.
